A Year of Firsts.....

I am going to blow my own Trumpet a little here :) So please excuse me while I do
HELL YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see on the 28th of June 2011 I decided to change my life. I was 86+kg, I smoked, I couldn't walk up my own drive way without being extremely puffed out and I was self conscious and unhappy.

That day I gave up a 22 year habit, and started Tae Kwon Do lol I knocked 2 birds down with 1 stone because I not only gave up smoking but I thought to myself  (it doesn't matter what everyone thinks when they see me running round breathless) it only matters that I do it because I new I needed to do one thing to replace the other.

12 months later and I am proud to say that I have become someone the old me would have like to be. I have completed 3x 5km Walks, Round 1 of Michelle Bridges 12wbt, lost 19kg to date, I compete in Tae Kwon Do Tournaments, I have walked 25km for fun and I am learning to run...

 Oh and there is so much more to come... I am competing in an international Tae Kwon Do Tournament in Sydney in September and I am doing The Tough Guy Tough Girl challenge in Rotorua in August with a heap of new Friends and I am 3 weeks into Round 2 of my next 12wbt.

 And as for my Self Esteem- Well she is allot happier these days, She looks in the Mirror and remembers that she is a Goddess, all she needed to do was take a good hard look at herself and believe :)

Strong Body Strong Mind, Caring and a Fire in my Belly :)

Oh I could name this post some many many different things!
The Fire in my belly: Its there I have seen it all last round it was my all, my eating my exercise my sleeping and my dreaming, it consumed me. Then it dwindled not a lot but enough that I noticed it was not as bright. Then I had a Light Bulb moment when I was running today, I realised that that Fire is me My mind My Spirit and My Soul... Here I was thinking it was things around me choices and circumstances, but no its all me 


 Strong Body = A Strong Mind, I listen to this on a daily basis doing Mich's Dvd's. I believe in me, and that will lead to where I want to go 60kg  my finish line I am coming.

 And that's when I realised that I care too much, about what others think of me and about how things should be for other people (in my mind) and so I will help in anyway I can and I will fix it for you to the best of my ability, But I forget to fix it for myself .

So I have again re looked at my goals and Recommitted to me:
 -I realise I spend too much time on Facebook so will tone it down, My family need me

-I am Writing my blog once a week for me (However you are most welcome to read it too :))
-I am becoming strong in mind body and soul
-And I am beating the last 8kg, I am coming finish line!!!

 You see that Fire I was talking about? Well it will not not be there when you have had a bad day or get bad news, It's still there it just gets pushed to the side sometimes and you have to remember to bring it back into focus where it belongs xo

When it all goes down hill and you least expect it!


Well I watched all the Pre season posts and just had the final 2 to go before kickoff. There was a Tae Kwon Do Tornament this weekend 2 & 3 of June that our team was competing in and won (Kayne my 13 yr old son 1x Gold 1x Silver, Mum 1 x Silver).

And then I got a phone call from Aussie, My sister and Nana had recieved emails and phonecalls from my Dad in Chch to say that he was sorry but couldn't do it anymore. So I rang everyone I could with no reply. In the end I contacted 111, What amazing people :).

All has worked out ok. Dad is in hospital after taking quite a few tablets and will hopefully get the help he needs.

However I am exhausted :) Mentally, Physically and Emotionally... Do I carry on?  Or do I skip this round? HA I was going to write to sort everything but I can't sort it out lol.

I will carry on :), I need to do this for me and I know that no matter what I can't make things happen in Chch.


So good luck everyone with this round See you at the Finish line xo

Exciting Stuff

So I have found my enthusiasm, The Fog has lifted and the Michelle Bridges Blanket is back where I am feeling warm and cosy!!!

However I was still picking away after dinner at homemade biscuits thinking (it's OK Leigh 1 wont hurt) WRONG! "This is how it starts all over again" picking, pies, no preparation the 80+ kg again. No Way.

So I started the Pre Season Tasks again. I was in the frame of mind that I could just gloss over them because I had already been there done that and new what it was all about so that would save time..WRONG AGAIN! 

I am getting good at this almost feels like a game of Monopoly Do not pass go do not collect $200.

I sat down and I went through each task regardless of whether I had half arsed done them or not and re did all 6. And you would never guess, I learnt something new:
- I am rater good at negative self talk.
- I need to be prepared as I am good at Glossing over things (lol), 
-And that my excuses have changed from oh its cold (though I still have used that recently) to more complex excuses!

So this is what I am committing to me:
I want this for me;
I am achieving it;
I am being the best venison of myself;
I am a Woman of my word;

 And the first Item on my list of to do is to win Gold @ the National Tae Kwon Do Champs this weekend! Wish me Luck

 

Do we mourn our Weight Loss???


Well I am sure I did, my mind has been in sabotage mode since the last week of Round 1. I have eaten snacks that I really didn't need telling myself it's ok, Exercised 5 x not 6 a week and haven't been generally all that motivated, more deflated!

I have kept to my 1200 Cal's even though it may have been something not necessary and I have still picked myself up and exercised somewhat; But it was like I was in mourning. I was sad, my inner teenager was having issues with everything... My feet were stomping and I wasn't having any of it. Although I was subconsciously working my way back with joining this round writing goals and starting to prepare.

Until today, Friday 19th May 2013, I have given myself a giant kick in the butt, I have said that's fine, I allowed myself to mourn my weight the 17.5kg that I have lost so far (though really Why? I am is still confusing) and I am Committing, to myself to you and to my family:

 

My Commitment is to get to through the finish line!
I am committing to myself and to you that I am finishing my race first, I am going to loose my final 10kg;
I am going to get up early and do my workouts;
I am going to Try 1 new sport every month;
I am going to smash week to week with my Cal's;
I am going to enjoy this journey and not doubt myself;
I am going to grow as a person with all that I am learning and have learnt;
I am going to be able to run 10km at the end of the 2 round without stopping;
I am a determined and healthy woman; I can do this for me and for my kids and hubby and for the rest of my life;
I am going to prove to myself that I can!
And when I do I am going to skydive for the first time to celebrate and say that I did!!! OMG...

 

Let the games begin :)

 

 

Over thinking... 
 
I have discovered something about myself and I thought I should share :)
I have decided I am in Weight Loss denial, topped with a sprinkling of over active imagination =

Walking into the Supermarket with Mike and 2 people I know rater well just walked straight past me. Now this has been going on for a few weeks so already my mind was working over time hence the over active imagination,  But this time was different because I had a witness :)


So I poked Mike in the ribs and said did you see that. Hmmm (male response) and kept walking. 2 Isles later and all healthy food in my basket  lol and It happens again, this time the person in question is looking at me then quickly away....


See See See I am whispering loudly to him; When he turns and laughs at me almost to the point of tears. Leigh they are not ignoring you they don't recognise you!  

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.


Well that's different, so I walk up to the said lady and have a lovely chat about how she was checking out my hubby and couldn't pick where she new me from.

Moral of the story, Enjoy the experience don't over think it. And I might just have to add in a shopping spree too !!

Here we go... Again :)

Where to start???
Hi my name is Leigh Stuart and I am proud to say I completed Michelle Bridges 12wbt Round 1 2012...
I lost 16.5kg from preseason until the end and completed most of my goals.

2 weeks ago the round was due to finish and so I started to slacken, Wondering if I should do it again, really not 100% sure either way. 1 week to go and hmmm leaning more toward not doing it again money wise, start eating more snacks etc. 3 days remaining and I am battling with myself eating more snacks and only doing 5 days of fittness not 6 ETC......

5 days later and I am back lol and it feels better, security??? probably....

Why I think its because I need to enjoy this round, to go again over the things I have learnt and pick up the things I missed oh and to keep trying and keep on track.

I new I could do it last time because after 22 years I gave up smoking. On the 28th of June 2012 I can proudly say I have been given up for 1 whole year so I new I could do this too.

I haven't fallen off the wagon and I haven't given in or up but I know I wasn't yet as strong as I want to be...
But I also know I will get there 1 day at a time because I can...

I just need to find out where the new me fits into my old life :)